All done...

...nursing Brooklynn. Last night was the last time I nursed her. Jason wanted to give her a bottle tonight and I was bathing Kenzie, so I guess that is it. It was really strange to not be the one to get her ready and put her to bed. In her whole year of life I have been the one that does the bed time routine with her. There has only been a few times I have not been home for bedtime and never have I been home and not put her to bed...well Jason has needed to rock her to get her to go to sleep, but I've always been the one to feed her. She's been a bit fussier than normal, I hope that will pass soon. I feel bad for her because she probably would not have given it up just yet...she probably would have happily kept nursing she was kind of an addict. But, I was ready to have my body back...I should be happy, but I feel a bit selfish tonight. Though she does not seem any worse off than any other night. We will see what tonight brings. I hope she sleeps well tonight and I don't have to fight with her in the middle of the night if she wakes up and decides she needs to eat :) I still can't believe we made it a full year!

Goofy Kenzie...

In the midst of her sassy mouth and major 3 year old attitude, the kid can be as sweet as pie when she chooses. I have been fretting over the lovely stomach bug that has been making it's way through my house, Kenzie is the last one bug free. We were at dinner and I was thinking we needed to head home...you know just in case she started feeling ill...and she looks at me and says "Oh mommy I will be just okay, you worry too much!" All while shaking her head, just like her father :) Love that girl :)

Poor Brooklynn...

The tummy bug struck our house :( Jason started it and then I caught it, tonight poor Brooklynn caught it. She has awful diarrhea and just generally doesn't feel well. I hope that she is feeling better by tomorrow. It seems to be a quick bug, but still it stinks to see your baby feeling badly.

There won't be any pictures for a while. I managed to loose my camera when we were at the pumpkin patch this past weekend. :( I want a new camera, but not like this. It is upsetting because I lost all of my pumpkin patch photos. Thank goodness I had uploaded all the birthday photos before we headed to the pumpkin patch. Hopefully I will have a new camera soon!

Happy Birthday Brooklynn!!!

Brooklynn turned one Sept. 28th...I'm not quite sure how that is possible, there is no way she can be one already!!! Both Jason and I had the day off so we spend the day spoiling her rotten and just hanging out with the girls :) I can't believe that I have a 3 1/2 year old and now a 1 year old! This past year has been a lot of fun. Going from 1 to 2 was so much easier than 0 to 1. Maybe it was because Brooklynn has been a sweetie of a baby or that Mackenzie took to being a big sis better than we could have ever asked. Brooklynn has been an absolute joy. She is a happy, smiley, funny kiddo! She is turning into quite the comedian and cracks us up every day. If she would just sleep I really wouldn't have any complaints! Lets see what is she up to now---

~She has 2 bottom teeth and a tiny little point of a 3rd bottom tooth.

~Says Mama and Dada...she babbles like she is talking in sentences, we just have no clue what she is saying.

~Can throw quiet the temper tantrum...ah, I'm in for it :)

~Cracks herself and everyone else up

~Is a total mama's girl...her nickname is Super Glue

~Is taking 8-9 steps at a time...she took her first steps Sept. 15th while we were on vacation

~Refuses most baby food...this is quiet a feat trying to find her food since she has only 2 teeth!

~LOVES her big sis...no one can make her laugh like Mackenzie

~She has nursed for a whole year...I'm proud that we made the full year without ever needing formula, but I'm so ready to be done...as soon as I can get her on full milk I will be done!!!

I love this little girl. She has added so much to our little family. I can't imagine what life would be like without her. I never thought I would love being a mom so much!!! Can't wait to see what the next year has to hold :)

My hubbys new "lady"

That's right, my husband has a new lady. She's big and construction barrel orange...he's got strange tastes I guess. He's not stopped talking about her since she showed up at my door step yesterday afternoon. He wanted to skip work to take her for a spin. He even tried to give up my spot in the garage...MEN!!!

Here she is :) I swear he's like a kid in the candy store! At least our house will no longer look like it has been foreclosed upon!

My lovies :)

I love these faces :) I am a lucky girl...it does not get any better than this!

OBX 2010

We started our trip down to the Outer Banks NC Thursday after work. The first night we drove until 1:30 am and stopped for the night just outside of Richmond Virginia. On Friday we finished our trip down to NC and stayed in the stinkiest hotel ever! We've had a busy few days already. We've checked out all the tourist shops, bought our souvenirs, took Kenzie kite flying at Jockey State park on the sand dunes, played on the beach, and drove out on the 4wd beach and saw 3 wild horses. The weather has been too cold for any swimming just yet. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a better warmer day. It's been a wonderful trip so far. Thurs, Friday and most of Saturday were just the 4 of us. We really needed a vacation. It's been a tough year around our house with so many changes that this was a much needed break from everyday life. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day rush that you forget to have fun...well at least we seem to have done that. It's been nice to spend a bunch of family time...I miss hanging out with my hubby and girls...life seems to have been so busy this past year, that life seems to have just passed us by.

Fun with finger paints :)

We did finger painting for the first time in a really long time tonight :) With the crappy rainy weather myself and the girls were going absolutely stir crazy!!! So, we broke out the old shower curtain and finger paints. The pictures are backwards..Brooklynn didn't start out this colorful :) I'm glad that the paint was nontoxic...I thing she tasted as much as she could shove in her mouth! She seemed to enjoy her taste test and her first painting experience :)

Days like this...

**Just a word of warning to sensitive readers...mention of the death of a baby in this blog**

Days like today make me ever so thankful for my boring nothing out of the ordinary life. Also, it makes me even more thankful for my girls, my husband, and the little life we have built. Today started like every other day...running late getting the girls to daycare and me to work. About 1/2 an hour into work we get news that a former coworker's son had passed away in his sleep the previous afternoon. Her son was 11 months old. He was no more than a month older than Brooklynn. This isn't supposed to happen. He was a sweet innocent little baby. My heart is breaking for her and her family. It makes me feel physically ill to even begin to imagine what they must be going through. How do you even begin to put one foot in front of the next after something like that. I could not concentrate all day at work. All I could think of was hurrying home and holding my girls tight. Too much time is spent doing everything other than spending time with those that matter the most. Today I realized how fleeting life can be, how easy it is to take it for granted. I vowed the moment I heard of his passing that I will spending every single second I can with my family...house work can wait, dishes can wait, everything can wait! I would rather spend 5 extra minutes with the than have a perfect house. I spend far too much time away for home as it is. I swear if I could find a way to be home more, I would not hesitate one single second. I'm trying, I'm looking, I will eventually find away to not work full time. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will be someday. I don't think I will sleep much tonight. I can't get this horrible feeling out of my heart...I don't want to put my girls down tonight... Hug your kiddos tightly tonight...

Geneva on the Lake...

Geneva on the Lake July 2010

Busy weekend up at Geneva on the Lake. I have not been there since I was a little kid. The resort we stayed in was beautiful, but the town was pretty much the same as I remember it. There were so many places that were closed down and so many empty store fronts. There was a lot of bars and bikers, it really is an interesting little town. It was a busy 2 1/2 days...Lots of swimming in the pool, little swimming in Lake Erie, bike ride on a bike built for 4 (a lot more work than is sounds), lots of good food, saw the longest covered bridge, and did a bit of shopping. Both the girls LOVED the water. They both even liked the lake. Last time we had Kenzie by the lake she freaked and hated it. This time she was rolling around in the water, waves crashing into her, having a wonderful time! Brooklynn had fun too. She was kicking and splashing, just having a good old time.

Vacation was fun, but traveling with kids is really a lot more work than anything. It is hard to really relax when you are tending to kids all the time. I swear if anyone else told me to just relax, I was going to loose my mind. Okay, if I relax than who will tend to the kids? I just can't let the baby crawl around all over the restaurant and Kenzie crawl under the table. For now, I'm done traveling with kids until we head to the outer banks! Maybe I'm a stick in the mud, but staying in a hotel with the kids really isn't all that much fun!

Summer time...

Kenzie doing what she does best...Making Brooklynn laugh

Passed out from too much fun in the pool.

High flying Kenzie...the girl has no fear :) She learned how to go off the diving board all by herself this past weekend. She LOVES the water!!!

Brooklynn waiting on the parade to start :)

Kenzie drew the rainbow all by herself. She is growing up too fast!

I need 5 more hours...

...in a day and then maybe I will have enough time to accomplish all the things I want to and need to do in a day. Oh, the extra 5 hours must be when the girls are sleeping! Lets see...what have we been up to? Really nothing much exciting...working and spending time chasing the wild ones around!

Kenzie
~As of today she can go underwater "all by myself"
~She loves going to the pool and "swimming" with her floaties (another one of the NEVER things I gave into!)
~She's discovered Silly Bands
~She is so much a little girl now, it's sad how fast they grow up.
~Has been binkie free for over a week...yes I am admitting that my 3 1/2 year old still had a binkie
~Is sassy as the day is long...oh how I dread the teen years :)
~Is still a daddy's girl 100%...I'm so chopped liver!!!


Brooklynn
~Is fully mobile and can crawl from one end of the house to the other in no time flat.
~Is cruising the furniture and practicing standing by herself!
~Is learning to wave bye bye and clap
~She "dances" all the time...I love baby dancing :)
~Is eating me out of house and home...she has discovered finger foods and couldn't be happier.
~Is still a crappy sleeper for the most part.
~Weighed 20lbs 1oz at 9 months :) She's my chunky baby!
~She is "talking" and babbling a ton.
~She loves to scream and laugh till she topples over
~She loves the pool.
~Is still nursing...never thought I would make it this far!
~She is my mommy's girl! At least one of my kids likes me :)

Summer time with kids is so much fun. I love watching them enjoy so many of the things I enjoyed as a kid. I love it that both girls LOVE the water. Pool time is so much fun. Summer time also makes being a working mom so much harder. I am struggling right now with working full time. I wish there was a way for me to work part time or even better to work from home. Though working from home and OT don't mix...honestly I would give it up in a heart beat if I could stay home..okay not full time at home, couldn't do that :), but to be home part time would be wonderful. Maybe some day. I am always looking and keeping my eyes open, just don't know how I could swing it!!!

Some new pictures of my little ladies :)

Crappy Kidneys!

These past few weeks have been interesting to say the least. If I am never aware of my kidneys again I will be a happy woman! I've dealt with kidney stones in the past, but nothing to this point. After 2 bouts of the stone moving, I ended up having the stone surgically removed. Let me tell you, that little 5mm thing hurt like mad! I will surely think twice about going through that surgery again. But, I hope to catch up on here now that I am feeling human again :)

"Whisper"...

I'm feeling nostalgic tonight for some strange reason :) As I was driving home from my 9:30pm grocery shopping trip...I shop late at night just so I can go all by myself...it hit me. I never knew the joy of grocery shopping alone until I had kids. It is very sad that going to Walmart at 9:30pm is a fun spot in my day. Anyways, as I was driving home the song "Whisper" by Oval Opus came across my Ipod. I love that freakin song...no matter how many hundreds of times I listen to it, I love it just the same. So many good memories from my college years are attached to that song/band. It got me thinking how much my life has changed in the 7 years since college. I wouldn't change a thing about my life, I really wouldn't. I have everything I could ever have wished for an more, but every once in a while just for a moment I miss what life was like back before I "grew up". I miss the ability to be spontaneous and just pick up and do what ever I pleased whenever the mood struck me. Now it seems to take an hour just to get everyone ready to leave the house! Staying out late meant really staying out late...anymore if we are out past 9 we are out late. I miss going to live concerts and knowing all of the songs, spending time with people who quickly became like family. Nearly weekly concerts were common place...I can remember on a whim jumping the the care and traveling a few hours to go to a concert. During that time a friend became a boyfriend, who would be come my best friend and eventually my husband and father of my children. Listening to that song makes me smile. I can so clearly remember spending many nights with Jason from the time we first started dating until after we were married listening to Oval Opus and many other small bands...in fact Whisper was one of the songs we played at our wedding. Maybe it is all the memories that have lead to where we are today that makes that song one of my favorites.

Busy, busy, busy!

Brooklynn "hangin" out in her Moby wrap watching Kenzie pan


High flying Kenzie!!!


Kenzie's gems from mining :)


Frosting Grandma Patty's birthday cake....well maybe licking icing off the spoon more than icing :)


Happy baby Brooklynn

It's been a busy 2 weeks around here :) We spent last weekend in Hocking Hills with mom and Jessica. It was so much fun just relaxing and catching up. Spending time together really makes me miss living closer. The house we stayed in was great. It was an old farmhouse....the kind of house I would love if we were handy enough to really redo it and keep up with all the work that comes along with an old home. The girls had a great time. Kenzie is still talking about what she did, seeing the caves, the water falls, and everything else. She has told EVERYONE about her vacation. She also has asked me 100 times when we go back to the vacation hotel house :) I think vacation made Brooklynn want to really be up and moving, because she has sure been moving since we got home. Before vacation I took a day off to clean and organize the girls bedrooms...how sad is it that I had to take a day off of work to clean my house? But it took me all freakin day to finish up Brooklynn's room and get most of Kenzie's room done! It feels much better knowing that at least their rooms are done :) Kenzie and I went to the Cleveland zoo with my friend Nikki and her daughter on Thursday of last week. Other than my hatred for zoo's we had a good time. I think that I prefer Columbus to Cleveland, mainly because the animal in Cleveland were all pacing and looked bored and depressed. Kenzie had a blast. She was so well behaved the whole day...this is quiet the feat for her most days! Weekends like last week make enjoy being a mommy so much more. Now I just need to figure out how I can stay home more :)

Slow down baby!

Ah, my little baby is growing up too fast! She is bound and determined to get moving and chase her big sis around the house and drive her mad slobbing all over her toys :) I swear the girl must have eaten her Wheaties this past weekend or something. Despite having a nasty cold she managed to-start babbling consonant sounds, Babababababa, nanananana, getting down to her belly from sitting without doing a complete face plant, getting up to hands and knees easily, and nearly pulling herself into standing! She is not even 8 months yet...she can't be on the verge of being mobile...I like that when i set her down I can still find her 5 minutes later in the same spot! I fear that day is coming to an end very very soon. She is determined to crawl...she is constantly getting down on her hands and knees and rocking. She hasn't figured out how to move her arms yet, but instead she does this funny "jump" forward. I have to catch it on video before she figures out the right way. It makes her so mad when she jumps and belly flops :) It is the funniest thing I have ever seen! I think I may need to start baby proofing sooner than later. This will be a new task as I never babyproofed at the other house, but with the stairs I think a gate at least will be needed. I think I will also need to find a way to keep her out of Kenzie's room. I want the girls rooms to be just that, their rooms. I hope that they play together nicely forever, but I want them to have their own spaces where they can be by themselves or get away from each other as needed!

I need a drink...

If I was a drinker, tonight I would need a drink. I love being a mommy, but some days they just test every last bit of my patience. 3 has been a challenging age so far with Mackenzie and we are not even half way through!!! She is a sweet, smart, fun little girl, but the drama and sassy mouth about drive me mad! I fear what the teen years will bring. At least we will have had a long time to prepare :) I feel bad, because I feel like I am not very patient with her and I know that only makes her attitude worse. I hope that she does not hate me when she gets older, because I am often her least favorite person now a days :( Then there is Brooklynn...sweet cling on Brooklynn. I guess I should be happy that at least one of my kiddos wants to be by me, but the girls is like glue :) Maybe it's just a bad day all around...work sucked and then the girls were cranky.

I'm not sure what I want from my working career any more. I like being an OT, but right now it's not what I want to do anymore. That is kind of a problem, being that my degree really doesn't allow for much else. I don't even know what else I could or would want to do. I have said for a long time that someday I would like to be part of some type of research, but how do I find a job that pays what I make doing research? I also like compiling information and researching topics to develop competencies and things of that nature...again how do I turn that into a lucrative career? I don't find the same enjoyment in my job that I used to. It's not fun anymore and I honestly dread going there every day. Maybe it is the tense nature of working in a hospital, maybe I'm just in a funk, or maybe it really is time for a change. I wish I could find something that allowed me to work from home at least part of the time. The biggest problem is that I need to make what I make as an OT. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

One of those days...

I enjoy my job, I really do. But working in the acute care inevatable leads to a few days here and there where your pt's are doing poorly or passing away. Today was one of those days. I've worked in acute care for 4 years now, I have seen many many pt's near the ends of their lives. It was a strange thing to get used to, for a lack of a better term, but I guess it is something you deal with and for the most part it is a peaceful thing for my pt's. I work in oncology, so death and dealing with the dying process if often a part of my daily treatments. When you work closly with pt's you gain their trust and often you have seen them during multiple admits, they feel comfortable talking about their wishes and such. Today was a day where I was asked not once, but 4 times by 4 different pt's why they were being made to "hang on" and not being allowed to die. I wish I had the answers, but I don't. It makes for a long day when all you can do is hold their hand and tell them you don't know the answers to their question. I've had my fill of dying pt's this week.

Just a few pics of my sweeties :)