God I love that little girl...

How is it possible to love someone so much. I can't even explain it, words wouldn't do it justice...I just love my little girl to pieces. She recently has been having some trouble going to sleep. I'm not sure if she is developing a fear of the dark, or shadows in her room, or if it is more of a separation anxiety type of thing...maybe just a new appreciation that bed means no more play time. Who knows other than she's just not going to bed as easily as she had been. So, on these nights where she won't got to sleep she lays in her crib and just sobs, it is heartbreaking. Do you let her cry it out, to you go in and pat her back, do you pick her up, do you bring her out of her room...there is no good answer. Crying it out works for her, but not when she is this upset...the first night she SCREAMED for a good 45 min until we thought she was going to make herself sick. Then the other mentioned options can cause bad sleep habits. So against our better judgement we've been bringing her out into the living room...let her run around for up to 30 min and then back to bed...repeat as needed. Well tonight was the first night she decided to not go to sleep when Jason was not home...it's usually a team effort to get her back to bed. So I go in pat her back, give her her lovies and her binkie...still sobbing...turn her so she is on her tummy...pat her back...still sobbing...pick her up and rock her for a good 15 minutes...still sobbing...but now not only is she sobbing but she's sobbing for her daddy...yea makes a mom feel great. How do you explain to a 20 month old that daddy's at work. Finally she stops sobbing but now she is frantically chewing on her binkie...not the soft part but the hard plastic...figure it is her stupid teeth that are still not through the gum...so I give up and take her to the kitchen where her Motrin is...I swear the kid is going to be addicted...give her the Motrin and decided to try and rock her to sleep...now mind you this has not worked since she was just over a year old. Turn out all the lights and sit down in the recliner...and she lays her head down on my shoulder...5 min later she is sound asleep and snoring!!! How did that happen...she hates to be rocked...not tonight I guess. I honestly can't say when the last time I rocked her to sleep was...even holding her still long enough to hug her is a long shot. I sat there with her sound asleep in my lap for nearly 45 minutes just watching, well listening to her sleep. God I miss that. She's not cuddly so any chance you get you need to make the most of it. I can't believe that I couldn't wait for her to be a "big girl" and fall asleep on her own without us rocking her to sleep. How did she get so big so fast and why in the world did I want to rush through that innocent baby stage. I have a hard time remembering what she was like as a baby. Looking at pictures I don't seem to remember much...how could my 31lb monster of a toddler have ever only been 8lbs? How did she go from a helpless baby in to this moving and shaking toddler I rocked to sleep tonight. I want to turn back the clock and sit in the recliner with her being only 8lbs and just enjoy that moment...instead of wishing she would go to bed so I could do the same. Everyone says they grow up to fast, but I never believed it would go by this quickly. Sigh. I want my little girl to slow down...I want time to go slowly so I can enjoy the innocence of toddlerhood. In 4 short months my little girl will be 2! That just can't be right. Nights like this make me happy for my job change. I can't wait to have the summer to spend time with her and watch her grow and to learn who she is growing up to be. I can't wait for her to want me to fix a problem or a owie....those things are reserved for daddy right now...though I plan to take that spot as soon as possible, Jason just doesn't know that yet :) I've never been a fan of having her in my bed, but if it had been later than 8:30 she would have been sleeping with me...well at least until she started flailing and kicking me :) Maybe I will just sit in her room for a while and watch her sleep...god I love that little girl.

Go away mystery fever go away

Ah...so it starts again only this year a few months earlier. The dreaded mystery fever that is. I had this happen a few times last year....low grade fever that lasted a day or so. I wish I knew what was causing it. I am beginning to wonder if it stress induced...a way for my body to tell me to slow down and relax. I've never been very good at listening to how my body tells me it is stressed....guess if you make me sick I have to chill. hahah Yea right...then I just worry about why I'm sick :) I can always find something to worry about. Hopefully the stupid fever will go away by tomorrow. I would really like to be able to go to the Prairie Peddler tomorrow but I need to be fever free...don't think everyone else want me spreading my germs. Sigh. I wish I had a good reason for feeling crappy and having a higher than normal temp., but I don't...sigh. I hate sitting around locked away in the bedroom...it is so stinkin boring. I've searched the net about a hundred times and there is nothing good out there to look at. Maybe I should start my Christmas shopping! haha. Actually I have a good idea as to what I will be getting most everyone, now I just need to do the shopping. I plan on shopping on Black Friday this year since I will be off :) I will probably hate every minute of it, but I want to do it at least one time. So, this year may be my first and last Black Friday shopping spree :)

Miss Mackenzie has been a ball of fire lately. Poor kiddo is working on her eye teeth now. I can't wait until she is done teething. As usual she is going to get one tooth at a time...dragging out the whole teething process...oh joy. She is saying so many new words and understand more and more every day. I love it. I just love this age...I want to put her on hold and just keep her here for a while longer. Each time I think I like an age the best the next month is better. It keeps getting more fun everyday...maybe it's so fun while they are tiny so you don't strangle them in their teens. What ever it is, I love it. I can't wait until we have a new little one in the house. Though the newborn stage is not my favorite, I can't wait. sigh again...wow I'm full of those tonight. I was looking through Mackenzie's tiny baby pictures the other day. I can't believe how HUGE she is getting. She doesn't even look like the same little girl. I don't even remember her being that tiny. She seemed like a big baby when she was first born, but looking back she looks so tiny. I don't even know if I will remember how to take care of a little baby when that time comes. Now she is a crazy toddler who is always on the go and keeping us on our toes. Who would have thought that a 19 month old little girl could scale a kitchen table in .5 seconds or find the tiniest piece of dirt on the floor to eat in about the same amount of time. I swear that child consumes as much food as she does dirt...and voluntarily too. She's a goof.

Well..back to chasing away a stinkin fever...

:)

I did it, I put in my 3 weeks notice at the hospital this past Friday and accepted the position at Clearford school district. I am so excited but so scared at the same time. I know it is the right thing, but it will be a huge change that will really require alot of work to get back up to par with peds therapy. But it will all be worth it to spend more time with Jason and Mackenzie. My last day at the hospital will be Oct. 10 and I will start the following Monday at the schools. YIKES :)

More vacation pictures :)

With daddy by the ocean
Front of the house
The beach
Lookin cute...alergy eyes and all
On the beach

With daddy
On the boardwalk heading back towards the house
Wild hair
All of us
Windy windy windy!

Pretty girl
Come on already!
Hunting for shells
:)
More shells

Pictures from OBX vacation!

I can't believe how quickly our vacation went. It seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye. But then again I guess that is how vacation usually goes!!! It was a good relaxing time. I think that we really needed some time away. Even though there were many people in the house Jason, Mackenzie and I got to spend a good amount of time as just the 3 of us. It is so easy to forget how much fun our little family can be when we get stuck in the hustle and bussel of every day life back at home. I wish that we could spend more time together as a family, but life just does not allow for that on a daily basis. I guess we will just have to take more vacations :) Mackenzie was an angle. We could not have asked for her to be better. She just went with the flow. She slept and napped like she was in her own bed, never batted an eye at the change of scenery, and pretty much just took everything in stride....even the 11 1/2 hour car ride. I couldn't have expected her to be as well behaved as she was. She amazes me on a daily basis. It was so wonderful to spend the whole week playing with her. She is an absolute hoot...okay I knew that already, but I've not spend an entire week with her since she was 10 weeks old. What a difference a year and a half makes. I loved her when she was tiny, but I defiantely prefer the older baby stage :) She learned so many new words this past week. Her vocab is just taking off...Jason's really going to have to watch his tongue!! New words in her vocab are: Tinkle; poopy; potty; yucky; horsey; sand; water; MINE; cow; Mooo; birdy; kite; this; pop; more; all done; that; bite; night night; dipie(diaper); pee pee...I know there are more words but the excape me right now. She also said her first 3 word sentence..."Mummy, where's daddy?"

I took so many pictures. The few posted above are just a handfull of all the pics. I still have 4 rolls of film being developed. It had been so long since I used my "regular" camara! I forgot how much I loved taking pictures with it. I got one of the rolls of film back...the other 3 are still at the store...that's another story :) On the roll of film I got back there were 3 pictures of Mackenzie from some time ago. The first two were probably from when she was maybe a month old and the other pic she was probably a year...it doesn't even look like the same little kid! It's amazing how much she has changed in 19 months. I can't belive my little girl is 19 months old!!!

I will post the other pics when I get them back :)