I hate it..

Plain and simple, I hate my job. I tried to convince myself and everyone around me that it was going well and that I like it but it was all a huge lie. I have not liked it from the first day I started working with students. I like kids, but not to work with them day in and day out. I've already contacted the hospital and thank goodness they will have me back, but that can not come soon enough. I just want this to be done, I want out, I never ever want to go back to a school for work again. I hate that I have to be sick to my stomach, not sleeping, and more anxious than I've ever been for 2 more weeks...it is going to be awful...I honestly don't know how I am going to do it. It takes every bit of my will power to drive to the buildings every day and that will power is running thin. I feel like a failure because it didn't work out...I feel like a fool for the same reason. I wish I would have just left well enough alone and followed my heart and just stayed put at the hospital...then I never would have had to deal with all of this. I need to be sleeping but my skin is crawling with anxiety over what tomorrow will bring and tomorrow is an "easy" day. It's too early for snow or I would be praying for a snow day. Maybe my car will die on the way and I won't be able to drive there...haha we can all dream now :) I think I have a record long head ache as well...it's going on 4 weeks and it's getting pretty old...I should have an ulcer from all the Advil I have consumed. I'm not a nice person with all this stress and anxiety. I'm tired of being moody, grumpy, and just miserable to be around. I think I will make a countdown calender of the days I have left until things are right again...or maybe I should just reserve a room in the psych ward...I think Jason may try and admit me...I know he thinks I've lost my mind. Thank goodness he supports me changing jobs again. Well....I should try staring at the paint again...I really need some sleep. 2 weeks can't pass by fast enough.